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My first time

Finally, I've started with my clinical years and I started off with an eye posting. A month in eye posting and I gain a lot more confidence that I didn't have during my non-clinical years. I met a lot of supportive doctors and patients. Although the routines everyday makes me feel very tired, I still can go back smiling. Really, I fall in love with my work.

First day of posting, I do feel lost. I don't know what to do, who to follow as there will be no one to guide you, what should I study, who to ask and refer to. I feel like giving up on the first day itself. However, I try to remind myself that I am standing this far already and giving up now means that I kinda waste a lot of my time. Thus, on the second day, I try to figure things out. I try to observe, look, and talk with the nurses, doctors and even the patients. I feel a bit better but still I feel lost. I am very frustrated and sad. Nasib baik cuti lepas tu. A week of holiday, I try to read up a bit on the basic thing on eye that I should know and yeah with a bit of knowledge, my confidence level increase by maybeee 20%.

 Then, on the 2 nd week of posting, there's this prof. We have a class with her. What she said was something like "What happen if you do not have enough knowledge when you work later? What happen to your patient? I had seen a lot of incapable HO out there and I want you to do your best. You have to study and gain knowledge by 200% although eye posting is only a minor posting. Get everything you have to and make sure you are familier with  all the common eye disease here in Malaysia. "

That's when I started to become determine to learn everything in one month though mastering every bits and pieces of an illness of eye is quite impossible within one month. There's still a lot more to learn. But at least, now, I have got something from this posting. And now the spirit to become a good doctor to my patient, insyaAllah one day, is still there and hopefully will be there throughout my whole life.

Alhamdulillah, one thing I am so grateful about to be here, studying here is that they have got tons and bunch of a super good doctor that I can make as a role model. Some of them are scary anyway but yeah most of them are nice. Super nice. Hopefully, I'll be like them one day so that I can become a role model to the future medical student. *dreaminggg~~* haha.

One thing for sure, never give up! bak kata pepatah omputeh " there's always a rainbow after every storm."


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