Priorities in life

“You do not want to punish or kill yourself while wanting to help other people, do you?”

In regards to my previous post entitled ‘I promise’, today, I felt that somehow, I need to change the way I think not fully but partially.

Every Thursday, those living (let's use this word living okay, it sounds a bit real) in geriatric ward will have a grand round with Prof Philip or what he refers to as Teaching round. That’s the ward round that I look up to each week. It’s not just that I can be away from walking around the ward doing ward works, I can also learn something about life which I somehow feel is important. He has got a lot of experience to share with us. And I can bet you that you can never get that from any book you read. I personally think that he always has his own interesting way to make us understand the lesson that he wanted us to learn about.

So, today, he taught us about prioritizing our life. How did we end up discussing about this topic when initially we were talking about a patient with cerebellar stroke?

Towards the end of the discussion about our patient with cerebellar stroke, there’s this specialist just saying that these days we rarely have break for lunch or even toilet break because there’s so many things to do in the ward in which I agree so much to. There’s just so much things to do each day. She’s even right about not having a toilet break. I, my own, despite being the one who have the least responsibilities in the ward, sometimes have to hold myself from going to the toilet from morning until afternoon just because we got continuous things to do.

Prof reaction was, “You gotta be kidding me? Not even a toilet break?” with a very shocked face.

And we all laughed and almost all of us were saying, “True Prof” at the same time.

Thus, he ended up talking to us about self-care, prioritizing your time and giving us the definition of busy or not having time for another person.

Self-care is more important than anything else. You have to take care of yourself. You have got to eat when it’s time even for just 5 minutes. You also have to pee or poo even in the middle of working. You do not want to punish or kill yourself while wanting to help other people, do you?

I give you an example of prioritizing things. When you go back home after work, who would you entertain first among your three children? The eldest, the middle or the youngest? I would make the eldest my priority so that he/she would not bully his/her younger siblings. Why? Kids are full of jealousy especially the eldest. If you go to the youngest baby without seeing the eldest, he/she will feel very sad. But, if you attend the eldest, talk to him, ask how his days are and then you explain that you need to now attend the younger siblings, they will understand. They will also attain the maturity at the same time.

And the same goes to yourself. Entertain your needs first and then you can go to the patients and their family. (Please notice that I used the word needs instead of wants) At the end of the day, you do not want to fall sick and end up having to go to work not feeling good. That’s going to affect your job quality in a way.

And when you say that you do not have time or too busy regarding a matter, it must always imply that, that matter is not important at all. Remember girls and boys, if someone said that they are too busy to say yes, you should know your place by then. Maybe Prof is right and maybe he’s wrong. That’s just based on his experience and his opinion. We might have a different perception. But I agree with him. Most of the time, if we are important enough for a person, no matter how busy a person is, they will always make time for us.

I know that by being a doctor we have to put aside our life and make our patients our priority. But, you have to know the limit. Not until giving harm to yourself. Be equal. Do things one at a time. But know your responsibilities. Be it being a doctor, being a human, being a child, being a mother or father or being a friend, always know your responsibility. Learn to balance the things out. Work appropriately, that's the word that Prof Philip used at the end of his conversation with us. Being passionate and workaholic are two different things. They are not even siblings. Be passionate about what you do but do not forget to take care of yourself and your family.