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It's for us!

Before I start here, I would like to say I am sorry, that I am not being racist here. No intention like that at all. So here I am sharing with you guys my two cents regarding my childhood and maybe you have had similar childhood experience too.

I admit that to be honest, I was raised by parents who would expect the best out of me behind their, “ I don’t mind” words. How do I know? I analyzed, observed and listened. With that, I understand what they wanted actually.

Most of my family ( I mean huge family including cousins, aunties and uncle) were placed in a chinese school even from preschool years. Our parents believed that the chinese school has the best education system that of all can offer. Most of my cousins and relatives were able to complete their chinese education until high school except for me. I am an exclusion, I couldn’t fit and survive even during my preschool years.

When I was in my psychiatry posting, I remembered that there was a young boy presented with delusion of granduer diagnosed with bipolar disorder (If I’m not mistaken of the diagnosis).He’s an Indian boy sent to a chinese school. The specialist told us that it’s more to the expectations of the parents that they end in a chinese school as they wanted their kids to be very bright like most of our chinese friends.

Somehow, I do agree with that statement too. It feels more like a fact rather than a statement. My family who went to chinese school are all high achiever. Thus, I believe my parents expected me to follow the same pathway. However, I could not perform similarly when I was placed in a similar environment. Weird right? Yeah, I am weird. After that, I was sent to a convent school where 95% of the students were chinese. I went to an international school for english class too as they really wanted me to speak and write like an english woman but I can’t hahaha. However, despite their intentions, I knew it was the best for my future. I did not blame them at all. They didn’t even push me to study very hard. I willingly wanted to study very hard. Because no one can force you to study very hard except for yourself, right? And of course, I enjoyed my childhood time a lot.

I have no kids yet but I am sure I will be a mother full of expectations too. I surely wants the best for my children. I even plan to put my children in a private school. That’s why I need to work hard for that. That’s one of my dreams and goals in life. If you ask me what’s my expectations for my children, I expect them to speak a fluent english,  to know how to swim, play music, excel in education and the list goes on. But what I will expect and wants the most was for them to be happy and comfortable with their life.

So I guess that’s how our parents think. They only want the best for us for ourselves in the future. 

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