Randolph wise words

"I was trying to put myself in a bottle that would one day wash up on the beach for my children. If I were a painter, I would have painted for them. But I am a lecturer so I lectured. - Randy Pausch"

These days, I used to spent a lot of time in the Book Xcess bookstore alone during the weekends. There, a lot of books are old and 'ancient' but still are practically useful for the current time.

I coincidentally found this non-fiction book by Randy Pausch. It was displayed at the most top shelf with the words best selling books written on the shelf. 5 million copies of this book has been sold out. So, I thought there must be something interesting about this book. I just grab it, took the stool and sat at one of the corner to read it. Once I read the book page by page, it was so addictive that I couldn't stop. Each sentences struck me right in the heart. By the time I realized I should stop and just buy that book, I have already read half of the book.

It was the last piece of that book that I bought in that bookstore. Thus, I decided to share some of the things shared by Randy Pausch right before the pancreatic cancer complications took his life away.

Just a bit about the writer. I've been practicing this for a while. When I am going to read a non-fiction book, I teach myself to know the owner of the story so that I can learn the empathy.

Randy Pausch was a professor of computer science, Human computer Interaction, and Design at Carnegie Mellon University. From 1988 to 1997, he taught at University of Virginia. He was an award-wining teacher and researcher, and worked with Adobe, Google, Electronic Arts (EA), and Walt Disney Imagineering, and pioneered the non-profit Alice project. He lived in Virginia with his wife and three children. Randy lost his battle with pancreatic cancer on July 25th 2008. 

When he was invited to go for the last lecture, her wife refused that he should go. At that time, he just knew that he's at the end stage of the disease and the doctors who were treating him said that he only have 3-6 months left to live. He was treated with palliative chemotherapy just to make him comfortable for another few months of his life. He refused to turn down the invitation despite his condition as he said that an injured lion still wants to roar. He wanted to leave a piece of advice for his children when they grow up one day as he knows that he wouldn't be there to guide them throughout the journey of life later. And at the same time, he hoped that it can build the soul of others. 

Here are a few of Randolph wise words:

1. Be more self-reflective and realistic.

Recognizing true abilities, having a sense of own flaws, be realistic of how others viewed you. 

He believed that educators should help the students to be more self reflective rather than helping them learn how to learn. He was taught that the only way any of us can improve is if we develop the real ability to assess ourselves. 

If we can't accurately do that, how can we tell if we're getting better or worse?

Getting people to welcome feedback was the hardest thing he had ever do as an educator. But he was endeavoring to make it work as he knows that once it work, it's a major achievement for him. In years to come, if the culture, of being self reflective and accepting feedback from peers and constantly improving one's self from it, continue from one generation to another, the world will be a better place. 

2. Learn how to work in a team without being selfish (oops he taught me we must avoid using negative words. So I am going to alter my sentence.) Correction: Learn how to work and be selfless in a team. I'll share to you some of the example that he gave about turning a negative to positive words.

He was saying that in that course that he was teaching, which was computer science, you can't do it alone. 

Can I disagree and agree at the same time?

I disagree it was only that course but also in everything you do. Either work related or family, you need the teamwork. Once you have any one person being selfish in the team, trust me, nothing can save the team from sinking down to the deep ocean. Not only one person but the whole team will sink as how titanic sank.  I have that personal experience myself. Please, be selfless, you won't lose a thing. 

3. Don't complain, just work harder. (starred because I complained a lot) 

Too many people go through life complaining about their problems. He has always believed that if you put one-tenth the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving the problem, you'd be surprised by how well things can work out. 

Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won't make us happier. 

A lot of people want a shortcut. I find the best shortcut is the long way, which is basically two words: WORK HARD.

He said ( not me) that hard work is like compounded interest in the bank. The rewards build faster. I myself, not to boast around, am a hardworking person. I am not that lucky and I am not that 'I don't have to study-but I get an A plus person'. But never did I regret and I am satisfied  with the results most of the time. ( I said most not all okay). For me, you need that hard work to feel the satisfaction of being successful at the end of the day. 

I believe this depends on an individual. If you think you are that 'chill chill' person then okay. It's not wrong. Do it your way. Do it your style. 

4. Treat the disease, not the symptom.

Years before Randy got married to his wife, Jai (pronounced as Jay), he dated a young lovely woman with thousand dollars in debt. She was totally stressed out and anxious about this. Every month, there would be more interest added to her debt. 

To deal with her stress and anxiety, she would go meditation and yoga class every Tuesday. (Tuesday only because it was the only day she was free.)

Randy gave a helping hand by telling her if she would get herself a job, work every Tuesday for four to five months, and with the salary, she would pay her debt. Randy had nothing against yoga. But he always thought that it was best to treat the disease first in order for the symptoms to resolve. 

I guess what he was trying to say here is that find the root of whatever problem you are going through. Don't try to run away from it but instead solve the problem. 

5. Look for the best in everybody. (starred because world haven't prove to me that it's right)

If you wait long enough, people will surprise and impress you. 

When you are frustrated with people, when they've made you angry, it just may be because you haven't given them enough time. Sometimes, this took great patience - even years. 

People will show you their good side. Almost everybody has a good side. Just keep waiting. It will come out. 

BUT this one I've got to learn. I almost always feel disappointed with people when I opened up chances for them. So, I've got to learn the patience. 

6. Be the first penguin.

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer. (This is like when you go for your first job interview nowadays. First thing first, do you have any working experience? Guess you can tell them, I got no working experience since I just graduated but I have valuable life experience. Is that valid? Haha. I was just joking. Please don't try this. If you try don't blame me if you get kicked out on the very first job interview.)

The first penguin came from the notion that when penguins are about to jump into water that might contain predators, well, somebody's got to be the first penguin. 

You got that? 

Good. 

"Break the boundaries. Make mistakes. Show the world that life isn't always safe."

Take a chance on the unknown.

Let's just quote one of my friend saying, "Take that chance. We never know what's waiting on the other side."

7. Tell the truth. 

The truth can set you free. 

8. Use positive words often. 

It reflects who you are and it's more acceptable than negative words. Randy learn this from observations. And so he puts it in words so that we can learn from it too. He gave two example in his books which were:

1. He watched that Dr. Wolff (one of the doctors in the team that were involved in his management) use semantics to phrase whatever he could in a positive light. When his wife and him asked, "How long before I die?" he answered, "You probably have three to six months of good health.". What he thought a dying patient refused to hear was the words died, dead or dying. So he thought that the doctor has been doing a good job to use the positive words of good health. 

2. When he asked the Disney World worker once when he was a little kid, "What time does the park close?" Instead of being negative by answering, "It's close at 8 p.m.". But the worker answered, "The park is open until 8 p.m."

I understand what he was trying to imply here and I hope you do too. I hope that I can always apply this practically especially in terms of work related. And in this case, you need to master your vocabulary too. Remember when we were kids, we used to have a 100 vocabulary a day. Maybe you and I should start that again.

9. What you think is what you are. 

Whether you think you can or you can't, you are right.

SO ALL THE TIME THINK ABOUT YOU CAN.

10. Dream big. 

"Give yourself permission to dream. Teach yourself that no dream is impossible. And then work hard for your dream."

That's how I managed to stand at the place where I am now. I have got no other secret to tell you. 

11. Loyalty is a two way street. 

Randy got an undergraduate student name Dennis. He is an A student in everything except for his calculus. That was just because he has been spending a lot of his time in the computer lab as a teaching assistant. He skipped his Calculus classes. Randy believe that Dennis could pass the Calculus and make him proud. So what he did when Dennis was about to be expelled from the university was asked for another chances from the Dean for him. He even wanted to bring the matter to the court if the Dean refused. The Dean accepted Randy wish for another chance and Dennis made it. Dennis graduated and got himself an award-winning star in computer science. 

And he said, "I went to bat for Dennis when he was twenty-one years old. Now, at age thirty-seven, he is going to go to bat for me. I've entrusted him with carrying Alice into the future as the research scientist designing and implementing my professional legacy."

"I enabled Dennis's dream way back when he needed it....and now that I needed it, he is enabling mine."

I think you'd understand that. If you don't then memorize that loyalty is a two way street, and then replay it in your mind until you do.

12. Show gratitude.

Go out and do for others what somebody did for you. 

Showing gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful things humans can do for each other. He has been advising his students about showing gratitude, saying thank you, to help them recognize that there are respectful, considerate things that can be done in life that will be appreciated by the recipient, and that only good things can result. 

13. Don't obsess over what people think. 

A substantial fraction of many people's days is spent worrying about what others think of them. If nobody ever worried about what was in other people's heads, we'd all be 33 percent more effective in our lives and on our jobs. (He told us not to question how he come out with the 33 percent. He's a researcher so just trust him okay people)

That's true. Malaysian and Asian especially, can we all take note of this. And to those what they called as mak cik bawang, stop talking about people's life, stop judging and stop commenting on whatever decision people make. We have the right to choose our own life, don't we? Whatever we decided to choose, good or bad, it may either serve us a pathway to success or a lesson to us. Both are benefits. And this is what we call as learning. 

THE END

There are a lot more than just this but I would develop carpal tunnel syndrome once I finished typing the whole book. I believe this is the basic things that we all should learn and apply to daily life.

Ease people life, you will find that your life journey be smoother than sliding on an ice rink. 

Have fun reading and have a good day ahead! 

• And here I attach together the last lecture link from Youtube given by him entitled Achieving your childhood dream.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhgcBs6a5l8

• Before I forget, why Randolph? His mother has been calling him Randolph. He used to hate the name but that name has always remind him of his mother. 
• Most of the words are extracted from Randy Pausch books: The Last Lecture. 
• P/S: Apart from Mitch Albom books, this book of Last Lecture by Randy Pausch can also be considered as hidden gems. Someday, I hope I can be in their place, to be able to write amazingly and at the same time be someone that the teenagers or the community looked up to when searching for the meaning of life like how I did on them. (Remember, I am the one who gave myself permission to dream so don't mock me okay. Haha. Good day people!)