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I promise

Pagi aunty! Ada chuan haa mlm tadi?  

Manyak chuan ah doctor. Tak boleh tido. 

Okay aunty. Sekarang ada manyak chuan ke? 

Sekarang okay.

That’s my daily conversation with an aunty for the past one month. 

One afternoon, she asked me, “ Doctor ah makan.” 

“Takpe aunty. Saya sudah makan.” lying is bad I know but that’s how I would make them eat without feeling guilty.

“You pagi hari sudah mali, sampai ini petang ada lari sini sana bila you makan? Doctor, you kena makan baru kuat oh.” said an observant patient of mine. 

“Okay aunty” I smile and I left. What’s left in the heart was, “ I know that I have to eat. I know that it will make me strong but I have to finish the most important things first. If I don’t take her blood, doctor can’t review the results in the afternoon and they can’t decide on further management for her. And that’s not good for her.”

Being in geriatric ward taught me a lot. The day I realised that it’s not just about a career and money, I have made a promise to myself that no matter what happen, my patient will always be my priority. And no matter who they are, I will always treat them equally. I am so grateful to end in geriatric wards that I used to hate so much, I learnt a lot from the patient and the senior doctors. 

The day I saw how our consultant said right to the ear of an intubated but conscious patient, “Dear Mr.X, please hang in there. We are trying our best to help you here. Please hang in there.” And he nodded. 

It broke my heart and I realised that’s the day where I opened up myself for them. It’s one of the most precious learning experience I can never trade with anything.

And from that day onwards, I took that patient ABG every day to make sure I would have a conversation with him each day. That’s the only time of the day I can spent to talk with my patient. During blood taking. 

I am very proud of him and his progress. Not that huge progress but it’s all I ever wanted to see. Each day I would talk to him and said, “Good morning Mr.X. My name is hidayah. Do you remember me?” And he nodded. “I am going to take your blood again today okay. Would that be okay for you?” He would nod and if I failed to take once he would get angry by showing his angry face and I know how to make him better. Every day before I go, after blood taking, I will never forget to say, “Uncle, can you promise me you will fight this battle? You have to keep going okay? Hang in there alright. We are trying our very best to help you.” And he would look me right in the eyes as if he understood everything. And then I can go and do my own work. 

There’s just so many things for me to learn. Being in the ward, spending my whole day there, I swear I get thousands of knowledge from the senior doctors, the nurses, the PPK, the cleaner and of course the patient themselves. 


I can never lie that I have fall in love with my job over and over again each day. 

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