" No one can tell your story so tell it yourself. No one can write your story so write it yourself"

The people you met in life. You have got so many reasons to welcome them into your life and at the same time be willingly to open the door for them to walk out once the time has come to an end.  I always wanted permanent people in life. I used to have this phobia towards people leaving me after I became so dependent on them. (So close friends, please, stick around) It took me years to learn and accept that people comes and goes. I will always need to have those people who I can turn to even though we don ’t cling so tightly as I believe we always have dreams and achievements to go after in life so that whenever life is hard or when I stumble and fall,whenever I need a helping hand or an ear to listen, I know who to look for and to turn to. Despite that, knowing different people at different stage of your life is different. After all, I always believe in temporary people that came in our life to teach us something, once their purposes are done, they need to move on and so does ...

Hello there! Sorry for the long wait. So, here you go.  Here come an urgent story after a reflection made few weeks ago. I just felt the urge and the need for me to write and share this. As you know, I have been working in a pharmacy for quite sometimes now. It has been around 4 months I guess. Though definitely, I am extremely tired and I got no time to pamper myself, it gave me priceless experience. It’s a place that taught me to appreciate people, trust (this one I’ve got some issue with it too. Trust is basically not easy. It’s build over time so work hard to gain it) and respect people no matter who they are and their social status or educational background.  Initially, it feels like there’s nothing I can gain from working there. Not that I believe in all those supplements can help with diseases. These days, when I felt like I was doing a thing without having a benefit, I would start to do my own reflection. It was like a homework to me. Thank you to that one...

Before I start here, I would like to say I am sorry, that I am not being racist here. No intention like that at all. So here I am sharing with you guys my two cents regarding my childhood and maybe you have had similar childhood experience too. I admit that to be honest, I was raised by parents who would expect the best out of me behind their, “ I don’t mind” words. How do I know? I analyzed, observed and listened. With that, I understand what they wanted actually. Most of my family ( I mean huge family including cousins, aunties and uncle) were placed in a chinese school even from preschool years. Our parents believed that the chinese school has the best education system that of all can offer. Most of my cousins and relatives were able to complete their chinese education until high school except for me. I am an exclusion, I couldn’t fit and survive even during my preschool years. When I was in my psychiatry posting, I remembered that there was a young boy presented with d...

How ’s me? Life has been great so far Alhamdulillah. Indeed, when you let go of the painful things that you ’ve been holding on for so long, you’ll be at peace and you’ll be happy. Being dependent on a person is not good, you’ll feel lost once they are away. “What’s meant for you will reach you even if it’s beneath two mountains. What isn’t won’t reach you even if it’s between your two lips.” And so these words heal. Always. Anyway, Let’s start. I have been occupying my holidays doing a few things at once right now. It all started as a volunteer with the Sarawak Children Cancer Society (SCCS) at the hospital. There, I knew a few doctors and pharmacists. These doctors enjoyed dragging me around in their rounds and clinics but I don’t really haha. So, these doctors has got a lot of on hold project for the community that they wanted to arrange but they ain’t got no time for that. Thus, they asked me to arrange it for them. This year, it was about the health fair project 2...

Sacred family!..The supposed home of all the virtues, where innocent children are tortured into their first falsehoods, where wills are broken by parental tyranny, and self-respect smothered by crowded, jostling egos. - August Strindberg- Family is the most crucial support system for us humans aside from our basic needs of life. Either we are a mother, father, daughter, son, a granny or any position in the family, we will always need our family to be behind us to support us and to walk beside us through thick and thin of life. That’s why family should be there with us in whatever situations we are going through whether that is our graduation day, getting married, when we get a job or when we are fired from a job. Yes, you do have friends, but friends change from one to another. As you shift to another phase of life, you and your friends will part way and you guys will meet a new friend. Not many will stay with us. After not hearing from us for months, I guess a lot will never mak...

Hello people!  Another written moment of life to be shared, can I?  I have had 7 sessions with them. They called me Teacher Dayah, I called them my friends. I knew some but not all of them. Not all are approachable, some are just in pain and some just need their own space. You need to respect them because they are not at a place where they or even we would like to be at. I was talking about those kids in paediatric ward 2A. It’s an oncology ward. Most of them are at the late stage of different types of cancer (Leukemia, osteosarcoma, etc.) seeking treatment for comfort. They are all bald, thin, wheelchair-bound or walking with walking aid around, bruises over their body, but they all still have a wide smile on their face to greet you. Initially, I was quite scared to talk a lot with them because I have this thought that the kids could be quite fragile. I was so scared that I would end up talking about matters that were sensitive to them. So, I just talk about...

Attention, passengers: this is your conductor. The train is about to leave to the next station. Please ensure you have a valid ticket for travel. Please ensure you bring all your belongings with you including your memories throughout your stay here. Have a great and pleasant journey. To those who are going back home, welcome back. Take care and safe journey! Auf Wiedersehen is a german word to bid goodbye. It means I'll see you again and that's not the end. How smart they are, not to use goodbye. Saying goodbye as if that's the end of us and we'll not see each other again. That's sad! I guess every starting has the ending. As a student, we will surely graduate one day leaving the place that somehow feels like home to us. Kindergarten graduation, primary school graduation, high school graduation but nothing really compares to what's next - our tertiary education graduation. Ecstatic, that's what we felt when we finally graduated and next will be able to c...

These days, you live a life full of expectations. That’s why we end up treating a lot of young adults with depression.  You are expected to study the most popular course with the highest salary, you are expected to graduate with a distinction or as a first class honour, you are expected to graduate on time, you are expected to get married at the average age Malaysian citizens getting married and of course after that, you are expected to have child at the age everyone else is getting a baby.  If you are not following the flow, you get criticized, judged and looked down. I guess these days we have to teach ourselves and our emotions to get tough in order to survive. Ignore, let them talk and do their cheap judgement and proceed with your life happily. That’s the best thing you can do for yourself.  Build your own empire. Do it quietly. Have your own plan and do things accordingly. However, a plan will always be a plan. It may brings you to your goal or vice ve...

"Opportunity dances with those already on the dance floor." Well, this time I'm just sharing about taking advantages of the things that happen around you. Not in a bad way but in a good way. Recently, a few of my colleagues complained to me that they have been bullied to do all sorts of work that they would never expect they have to do during internship. Guyss, chilll.. and let's be realistic here.We have just graduated. We are currently standing at the lowest level in the hierarchy of our career. Looking at where we are now, we should be glad to be able to do work (although it's just a simple work like pulling the curtain haha) rather than just being left out from the team. Everybody has to start from the bottom. Like what Jerry Bruckheimer, the American film producer said: "You have to start at the very bottom and you've got to do every job. I did that so I could understand what everybody does. I didn't become this huge producer overnight. It...

Oh, hey guysss. I'm backkkkk.I've been writing so frequently these days as I have so many things to share so that I can make it as my reference in the future and also to share with everyone. I really hope we all can learn something.  First and foremost, I'm just sharing that I am extremely happy today because one of the patient that I used to attend for the past 2 weeks can now be discharged healthily. I knew Mdm O and her family so well. She's a 99 years old lady who can remember this insignificant hidayah when she wanted to go back. Her daughter came to look for me to tell me that her mother wanted to see me before she went back. And when I wanted to go out, her daughter who was always there to look after her hold my hand and said, "Thank you doctor for you care, Thank you for your help, Thank you for seeing my mom when she's in pain. I hope to see you again someday later". So I said, "Sure, I'll be glad to see you and your mom later but not ...

“You do not want to punish or kill yourself while wanting to help other people, do you?” In regards to my previous post entitled ‘I promise’, today, I felt that somehow, I need to change the way I think not fully but partially. Every Thursday, those living (let's use this word living okay, it sounds a bit real) in geriatric ward will have a grand round with Prof Philip or what he refers to as Teaching round. That’s the ward round that I look up to each week. It’s not just that I can be away from walking around the ward doing ward works, I can also learn something about life which I somehow feel is important. He has got a lot of experience to share with us. And I can bet you that you can never get that from any book you read. I personally think that he always has his own interesting way to make us understand the lesson that he wanted us to learn about. So, today, he taught us about prioritizing our life. How did we end up discussing about this topic when initially w...

Pagi aunty! Ada chuan haa mlm tadi?   Manyak chuan ah doctor. Tak boleh tido.  Okay aunty. Sekarang ada manyak chuan ke?  Sekarang okay. That’s my daily conversation with an aunty for the past one month.  One afternoon, she asked me, “ Doctor ah makan.”  “Takpe aunty. Saya sudah makan.” lying is bad I know but that’s how I would make them eat without feeling guilty. “You pagi hari sudah mali, sampai ini petang ada lari sini sana bila you makan? Doctor, you kena makan baru kuat oh.” said an observant patient of mine.  “Okay aunty” I smile and I left. What’s left in the heart was, “ I know that I have to eat. I know that it will make me strong but I have to finish the most important things first. If I don’t take her blood, doctor can’t review the results in the afternoon and they can’t decide on further management for her. And that’s not good for her.” Being in geriatric ward taught me a lot. The day I realised that it’s n...

"I was trying to put myself in a bottle that would one day wash up on the beach for my children. If I were a painter, I would have painted for them. But I am a lecturer so I lectured. - Randy Pausch" These days, I used to spent a lot of time in the Book Xcess bookstore alone during the weekends. There, a lot of books are old and 'ancient' but still are practically useful for the current time. I coincidentally found this non-fiction book by Randy Pausch. It was displayed at the most top shelf with the words best selling books written on the shelf. 5 million copies of this book has been sold out. So, I thought there must be something interesting about this book. I just grab it, took the stool and sat at one of the corner to read it. Once I read the book page by page, it was so addictive that I couldn't stop. Each sentences struck me right in the heart. By the time I realized I should stop and just buy that book, I have already read half of the book. It was t...

When you come to a place which is not home to you with a good intention, you will get more than what you are looking for.   "If it is time for you to go, leave willingly - as you would to accomplish anything that can be done with grace and honor." "Leave your country in search of loftiness and travel. For in travel there are five benefits: Relief of adversity, earning of livelihood, knowledge, etiquettes, and noble companionship."  [Imam As-syafie]

“Hello, amoi, you mau bikin baju ke?” I was welcome with that question. A few days ago, when I was given a few weeks off from classes, I decided to come back home to spent that little amount of time that I have with my family. On one of the days, I have some alone time to spent as my parents and brother were busy with their own schedule. I have got nothing in plan to do. Thus, I decided to go to China Town located in Kuching City. It was just 15 minutes away from my house. It was called China town as most of the shops there were occupied by the chinese sellers. (we do have our own India street anyway hehe) I have a reason of why I choose to go there. I have heard for quite sometimes that there is a chinese boutique that is famous for the hand-made kebaya. It has been operating for the past 40 years. It was owned by a chinese lady named Mui Mui. I guess she’s currently in her mid 70’s. She has made a kebaya that cost thousands ringgit malaysia. So I just went there to have ...